Mummys Boy and Daddys Girl
Why Women Don't Like Mummy's Boys
Should You Bother With A Daddy's Girl?
Mother's boy, also mummy's boy or mama's boy, is a term for a man who is excessively attached to his mother at an age[which?] when men are expected to be independent (e.g. live on their own, be economically independent, married to a woman or about to be married). A mother's boy may be effete or effeminate, or might be perceived as being macho, or might have a personality disorder, such as avoidant personality disorder, or might be schizophrenic, so that the mother acts as a caretaker. In any case, a mother's boy cannot maintain a healthy partnership with a woman (Carruthers, 1998).
Being mother-bonded is sometimes seen as a sign of weakness, and has a social
stigma attached to it in many places, although in other places it may be more
acceptable or perceived as normal. A mother-bonded man is seen to give control
of his own life to his mother, in exchange for a sense of security. If the
mother has more than one son, then she will have, at the most, one mother's boy,
usually the eldest or youngest son. The relationship between mother and mother's
boy is thought to be "symbiotic": the mother enjoys controlling her mother's
boy.
Alternatively, in recent years, some have begun using the term in a milder
sense, merely meaning a man who is emotionally attached to his mother. Though
this sense of the phrase is still uncommon compared to the original pejorative
intent, mothers in particular may state their pride in their "mama's boy" sons.
It is also occasionally used to describe an infant or toddler son who is
unusually attached to his mother, even crying or resisting when the father
attempts to care for him. In this sense, the 'mama's boy' designation carries
little stigma, but is simply an observation of the young child's primary
attachment.
A mamas boy is also a light term used jokingly when describing the "softness" or
"sweetness" of a guy. It's usually a term used between male friends who want to
refer the act or statement of a the friends he's joking to or about as "soft" or
"not - tough" acting.
Are You A Mummy's Boy?
Let’s do a small, simple, question-answer exercise and we will be able to work out if you are a Mummy’s Boy.
Does your mother cook for you and hover around you doing everything for you even though you’re over 18?
Does your mother save you from getting yelled at by your father?
This is my favourite question: Does your mother hate your wife or vice versa?
Look, let’s just face it that it’s really very hard for a mother to let go of her children, especially her sons. For some unexplainable reason, there’s always this rather strong bond between mothers and their sons. It tends to get stronger with age and more so when their son gets married.
Allow me to share what I have observed over the years and experienced myself. When a woman finds out her son is dating, whether she admits or not, deep down there will be a pang of jealousy. Yes, I’m going to call it jealousy because this gets worse when her little boy becomes man enough to want to get married and poor mummy is sitting there hating on her son’s choice just because she feels he now loves his wife even more.
Many women proclaim that they are brilliant mothers-in-law, they get on really well with their son’s girlfriend and so on. But no one’s about to come out and admit she doesn’t like her son’s choice. This phenomenon is almost as rare as hen’s teeth.
While it’s ok for your mum to love you so much, dude, you need to style up a bit, especially if you are married. Give some love and respect to your wife/ partner. Your wife looks up to you as her knight in shining armour. Respect her, love her and cherish her. You will see that as long as you give her this respect without bowing down to pressure from your interfering mother, you will have a happy life.
Respect your wife enough to let her be the woman she is and not be the woman your mother wants her to be or you moulding her to mummy you. She is not your mother but your partner and if you have mummy issues get counselling for them. Your Oedipal complex needs severe help.
I’m not saying cut ties with your mother for the sake of your wife. No way. I’m just asking you to cut off the apron strings that unhealthily bind you to your mother. Have a healthy relationship with her; be able to tell her not to interfere in your marital life without being disrespectful. Also make sure the two women who mean the world to you understand your relationship with the other. You cannot cut off from your mother and you cannot abandon your wife. If you give enough attention and love to both parties, you will be a happy man. Also never allow these two women to bring their arguments to you. They should have the sense to sit down with each other and iron out their differences. It may be difficult but not impossible.
Why Women Don't Like Mummy's Boys
Eloise Houarno
Relationship Correspondent
If a woman shares a man's bed, she probably won't settle to be second fiddle in his life.
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Women always like hearing a potential partner speaking about his mother in a caring and respectful manner. In fact, men who have a good relationship with their mothers tend to be more understanding and respectful toward women, and we ladies know that.
But a man who talks a little too much about his mother will raise a "mummy's boy" flag in any woman's mind. It's not hard to understand why women don't like mummy's boys.
Here are some of the reasons why women don't like mummy's boys and solutions to how a man can keep both his mother and lover happy.
Just as men fantasise about nurses or French maids, women fantasise about firemen and policemen — men that display strength, power and masculinity.
If a sexy fireman had to check with his mother every time he took off his clothes for a girl, his sex appeal would definitely fade. Women generally like strong men who aren't intimidated or easily influenced by other people, and that's a big reason why women don't like mummy's boys.
The thing is, mummy's boys often fulfill their mother's every wish, especially the most unreasonable ones — and that's where the problems start.
If a man lives out his mother's every wish, chances are that he will not make decisions with his significant other without his mother's approval. It's hard enough to share decisions as a couple, so it is rare that a woman will tolerate a third person interfering in her relationship with her man. When a girl is 12 years old and her boyfriend can't go out because his mother doesn't approve, it's OK because he's still a child. When that boy becomes a man and his mother still rules his life, however, most women aren't that understanding.
If a woman shares a man's bed, she probably won't settle to be second fiddle in his life.
It is normal and expected that a man will treat his mother on her birthday, Mother's Day or on any other celebration. But if a man always puts his mother before his girlfriend, no matter what the occasion, chances are his girlfriend will end up resenting him and leave him. The main reason why women don't like mummy's boys is because competing with the woman who gave birth to him just isn't an option.
When a mother-in-law is in the picture too much, it can make a woman feel like she isn't doing a good job at keeping her man happy since he still has another "woman" doting on him. Women like to know they're making their men happy. They don't want to hear that they can't cook or can't do things as well as their lovers' mother.
We have more reasons why women don't like mummy's boys...
Mummy's boy = best husband
by TIM UTTON, Daily Mail
They have long been the butt of jokes.
But mummy's boys are now likely to be taken more seriously after research showed that they grow up to be the best husbands.
According to the study of young married couples, sons who have a strong, close relationship with their mother are more likely to be considerate, make their wives happy and enjoy a successful, lasting marriage.
Researchers found 'significant' correlations between men's ties to their mothers and their partners' satisfaction with the relationship.
Celebrities who appear to support their verdict include actors Ewan McGregor and Brad Pitt.
McGregor, married to wife Eve for eight years, enjoys a close relationship with his mother Carol while Pitt, who wed Friends star Jennifer Aniston three years ago, gets on well with his mother Jane.
Mothers help to mould the way their sons deal with women and how good they are at it, said the study.
Close contact with their female parent means mummy's boys are better able to develop intimate and emotionally open relationships.
"If he's very close to his mother he may feel very close to his partner, probably very affectionate," said Dr Sarah Roberts, of Ferrum College in Virginia.
"In traditional homes, the mother is the first person the children have as their introduction to femininity. Their mother is, for the male child, their first study of what a woman is.
"They watch her behaviour, they watch certain things coming from her, and of course are influenced by everything she may teach them."
In her study Mummy's Boy or Lady's Man?, women were asked how good their marriage was and how they rated their husband on various factors.
Men were asked how close they were to their mothers.
Researchers found that, in general, men who said their mothers 'understood their needs' were described as 'affectionate' by their wives.
Men who had a strong love for their mothers also tended to date women who described them as 'their best friend'.
And those who said they sought to 'make their mother proud' ranked high in terms of their ability to communicate with their partner.
An attentive mother may even influence her son's choice of mate, the annual meeting of the American Psychological Society in Atlanta was told.
Dr Roberts said: "If the mother is very loving and displays this to her son, he may think 'I want a woman like my mother' or 'I don't want one like her'."
t.utton@dailymail. co.uk
Daddy's girl, an informal term for the Electra complex
Hibiscus 'Daddy's Girl', a Hibiscus cultivar flower
Should You Bother With A Daddy's Girl?
Doc Love
Success Coach
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This week's letter comes from a man who dated what he thought was the perfect woman... that is, until he realized she was a daddy's girl. Is there hope for him and this princess?
reader's question
Hey Doc,
I've got a problem that I bet you've never seen or heard of before. But first, a little background.
I met Melinda six months ago at a local airport where I'm a weekend flight instructor. She took several lessons from me before the relationship turned from teacher-student to something more romantic.
We started dating and, for a couple of months, everything was great. We have lots of things in common aside from flying planes — we're of the same religion, have similar political points of view, and share many of the same desires for what we want to do in the long run with our lives.
she's hot & smart
Melinda is extremely attractive and very intelligent. Since she is fun-loving and adventurous, I mistook those things for some of the character traits you list as the most important in "The System," and this is where I ran into trouble and where the problem comes in.
It seems that Melinda is something of a "daddy's girl," and I think this has the potential to drive me crazy and ruin the entire relationship. For instance, we were having dinner at her apartment a few weeks ago when the phone rang. She got up to answer it, which annoyed me since we were smack in the middle of what I thought was a romantic evening.
Well, her father (who bought Melinda her own small plane, incidentally) wanted to talk about some problem he was having at his business and she sat there rapping with him for about 45 minutes until the food went stone cold. I was furious, but said nothing.
When she finally hung up, the romantic spell was broken. She told me, "I hope you didn't mind that, but my dad and I are really close and we always consult each other when there's a problem."
she is the ultimate daddy's girl
Since then I've begun to notice that instead of being Flexible and Giving, Melinda is quite rigid when it comes to her father. They definitely seem to be each other's favorite person in life.
What's worse is that he doesn't think all that much of me. Even though I know how to fly a plane and make a decent living working as a manager for a medical advertising agency, I get the distinct feeling that he thinks I'm not quite good enough for his little princess.
Most disturbing of all is that we recently had an argument and instead of working it out with me, she called her father to talk about it. It makes me think that in the event of a serious problem, she'll run off to him rather than stick it out with me.
Doc, what's your take on this? Is this typical female behavior? What do you think I should do?
James — who's not a mama's boy
doc love's answer
Hi James,
It's a real shame you're having problems with Melinda because your relationship started off on the best foot possible. And you got a bonus, pal, in that you two have pretty much everything in common.
You are so, so lucky because just look at how many people in this world get married with nothing in common, and they don't spend any time finding the things that they'd like to do together.
You and Melinda are fortunate to have something good — but like most things in life, it won't last...
Literature
Daddy's Girl, novel originally written in 1971 (but not published until 1980 because of its incestual content) by Charlotte Vale Allen
Daddy's Girl (graphic novel), a 1996 graphic novel (also about incest) by Debbie Drechsler
Daddy's Girl (novel), a 2006 novel by Tasmina Perry
Daddy's Girl, a 2007 anthology novel by Lisa Scottoline
Film
Daddy's Girl (1918 film), starring Baby Marie Osborne
Daddy's Girl (film), a 1996 film
Daddy's Girl, a 2007 documentary directed by Reggie Rock Bythewood
Television
Daddy's Girls (1994 TV series), an American sitcom
Daddy's Girls, a 2009 American reality television series
Episodes
"Daddy's Girl", a 1992 episode of Step by Step
"Daddy's Girl", a 1995 episode of Can't Hurry Love
"Daddy's Girl", a 1996 episode of ABC Afterschool Special
"Daddy's Girls", a 2003 episode of L.A. Dragnet
"Daddy's Girl", a 2004 eisode of She Spies
"Daddy's Girl", a 2004 episode of 8 Simple Rules
"Daddy's Girl", a 2004 episode of Tru Calling
"Daddy's Girls", a 2012 episode of Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta
"Daddy's Girls", a 2012 episode of Coming Home
"Daddy's Girl...", a 2012 episode of Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23
Music
Songs
"Daddy's Girl", from the 1984 album Medicine Show by The Dream Syndicate
"Daddy's Girl", from the 1986 album Solitude/Solitaire by Peter Cetera
"Daddy's Girl", from the 1992 album Metal For Muthas '92 by Crazy Angel
"Daddy's Girl", from the 1993 album Face the Heat by Scorpions
"Daddy's Girl", from the 1993 album Pro-Death Ravers by Psychopomps
"Daddy's Girl", from the 2006 musical Grey Gardens by Scott Frankel
"Daddy's Girl", from the 2007 album The Luchagors by The Luchagors
"Daddy's Girl", from the 2007 album The Yearbook by KJ-52
From Wikipedia the free encyclopedia
KJV Genesis 2:23-24
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and
flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto
his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
KJV Ephesians 5: 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
KJV Matthew 19:4-6
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not
read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave
to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder.
KJV Mark 10:6-9
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them
male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his
wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one
flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
KJV Titus 2:1-8
1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in
patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not
false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good
things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to
love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing
uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part
may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
KJV 2 Corinthians 12: 14 Behold, the third time I am
ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours,
but you: for the children ought
not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.
KJV Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the
Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord.
KJV Colossians 3:19-21
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against
them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the
Lord.
21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
KJV 1 Timothy 6: 4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.
KJV Matthew 10:37-39
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not
worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of
me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of
me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my
sake shall find it.
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said, "But what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "But this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
(People should move out and marry before pregnancy therefore the wise decide
no intercourse outside marriage)
See Also
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